Tuesday, July 01, 2008

On: Liking your kids

I've heard whispers around that some people don't always like their kids.

For shame!

Only I mean for shame that it's only whispers. It shouldn't be one of those "unspoken" emotions. It should be talked about. Because you know what? It's normal. I'd bet everything I have that every.single.mom has not liked their spawn at one point or another.

Is there anyone in your life you like ALL THE TIME??

No matter how much I love the people in my life, I don't always like them. My kids included. They are people too. With their own personalities, attitudes and ideas. You're not always going to mesh with them. That doesn't negate the love you have for them. In fact, admitting this will probably lift the guilt and enhance your relationship. Trust me, they aren't always going to like you.

We, as mothers, need to STOP being so hard on ourselves. Seriously. Yes, this is all very important, but stop spazzing, beating yourself up, drowning in guilt and all the rest. Perfection is over rated.


Tricia said...

Well, OK. Since we're being honest here and cause we require full disclosure, I will admit there have been moments. Actually though it's not so much that I don't like my child, it's that sometimes I'm frustrated as hell and don't like some of his behavior, or mine. Chardonnay therapy helps. As an aside, when I was putting my little guy to bed tonight he told me that he really didn't like me tonight...but he voluntarily promised to like me again tomorrow. I'm not quite sure what I did to offend him, but I'm quite sure it won't be the last time. I'm determined to make sure he needs at least 20 years of therapy by the time he reaches 18.

Original GRITS said...

My girls are now grown and STILL have moments where they don't like me and certainly have moments (days even?) where I don't like them, either! That goes for the grandboy, too.

I agree with you, we are too hard on ourselves and too caught up in trying to be the perfect mommy. Pfft! Ain't gonna happen.

Karly said...

This is one of the things I never have guilt about, LOL. I credit my mom who was always telling us (when we were being brats) that "I love you, but I don't really like you (or your behavior) very much right now." She is a great mom, so I never worried about feeling the same way about my kid(s).

Jen said...

Right On, Sister! I can't agree with you more. There are some days that I am so thankful to go to work and get out of the house and let some one else deal with the drama, that I count the hours until I get to leave. I don't feel guilty for that. Kids need time away from mom just like mom needs time away from kids. I think the old saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," is so true.