Some days

I wish I still believed in spanking.

Today, Nana starts screaming (not crying, screaming) out of the blue. I rush into her room, expecting to see blood and bone. Instead, I see that she has managed to spill all of her books from her bookshelf onto the floor. I ask her to calm down, see if she's hurt. She's not, so I ask her to please pick up the books.

"No, I won't pick them up".

Now, had she said, "mama, I need help please", I gladly would have helped her. Instead, I get sass.

I ask her again to pick them up.

"NO - I won't do it! NO NO NO NO"

At this point, I'm frustrated. But, I remain calm. I tell her to pick up her books, or we will have to throw all her princesses (very extensive, prized collection) in the trash. I'm thinking at this point I'm brilliant and am giving myself invisible pats on the mommy back.

"Ok, let's throw them away!" - said with more than a little glee. Sadistic little shit.

Fine. I have to follow through at this point, or else everything up to this has been pointless. I'm rarely pointless.

So, I make her gather all her princesses, put them into a grocery sack (all the while trying to explain that the finality of this, to no avail). We say goodbye and dramatically put them in the trash.

I can't believe it went this far. I expected total meltdown well before this.

15 minutes later, she asks, "Ariel is in the trash?".

Ahhh success!! Lesson learned and now we can move on.

Or not.

"Yep, Ariel is in the trash, along with all your other princesses because you wouldn't pick up your books" says mommy.

"Good job mama! You're such a big helper!".

This parenting thing just gets harder/more interesting by the minute.