I Wonder.............
If I'm strong enough to be her Mother.
If I'm good enough to be the Mother she deserves.
Why I can't have more patience with her.
Why loving her hurts me so much sometimes.
Why being a Mom is so damn hard.
If I'm doing the right thing - daily.
I've never been the type to second guess myself. I follow my gut. Now, I constantly second guess myself. I lay awake at night, wondering if I was too hard on her, too easy on her, if I spent enough time stimulating her, playing with her.
Mothering a defiant, head-strong toddler is not for the weak. It's the hardest damn thing I've ever done. It's the most painful thing I've ever done. She hurts me sometimes, and I should know better. I get so frustrated when she doesn't listen. I swear that I say "no" 1,000 times a day.
When I do get angry with her, and discipline her - it breaks my heart. I feel like she's beating me down some days. Testing my strength or my love for her. Being her Mom is wearing me out.
About Me
- Jen
- I'm Jen, stay at home mom of two girls, trying to learn my way in the kitchen, after years of using store bought help. I cook simple, easy dishes, in a tiny kitchen.
My RAK Project
RAK = Random Acts of Kindness
This is a weekly blog entry I've started. It's a call to be kind. Each week I'll issue a challenge, simple and very do-able. We so often get caught up in the day to day of life, we forget simple kindness.
So, I'd love to get as many people involved in this as possible. I want to hear what you think of my challenge, suggest new challenges, and your experience with each weeks challenge. If your story is a really great one, I'll share here.
You can see all RAK posts here.
You can see all the great people out there RAKing here. Make sure you peek at their blogs, and show some love!
Grab the button! Help spread the word! Comment and tell me that you're sharing, so you can be added to our RAKers list!
This is a weekly blog entry I've started. It's a call to be kind. Each week I'll issue a challenge, simple and very do-able. We so often get caught up in the day to day of life, we forget simple kindness.
So, I'd love to get as many people involved in this as possible. I want to hear what you think of my challenge, suggest new challenges, and your experience with each weeks challenge. If your story is a really great one, I'll share here.
You can see all RAK posts here.
You can see all the great people out there RAKing here. Make sure you peek at their blogs, and show some love!
Grab the button! Help spread the word! Comment and tell me that you're sharing, so you can be added to our RAKers list!
The Cast
Jen - The Mama, the funny one, the glue, the "mean" mama, the boss
McHusband - The Daddy, the bread winner, the soulmate, the lover, THE daddy
Nana - The oldest, the drama queen, the sweetheart, the splinter under my fingernail and light of my life
Pia - the youngest, the sensitive one, the funny one, the PITA and the other light of my life
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3 comments:
I wonder all of these things very very often!!
Don't worry you aren't alone. I always try to remember that I am just trying to do what I know is best- we learn as we go and unfortunately parenting doesn't come with a manual. (Why is that!? How unfair!)
Anyway, I think I got your blog off the Desperately Seeking Balance board. Would you mind me adding it to my links? Let me know!
Of course you can add my page to your links! Thanks for the comment.
It's sad Jen I never knew a 3 year old and a 1 year old could bring me to my knees but they do. Being a mommy is the hardest job but comes with many rewards. You keep doing what you are doing she will thank you some day!
Jess
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